Yes, friends, I've once again fallen off the face of the earth (in truth, I've been digging a hole from China; I figure everyone wants to dig to China, so I should go against the grain). But lest my dedicated readers lose faith, here is some randomness to enjoy.

• All of us here at the Cage are looking forward to the Word Slinger's take on the new Star Wars movie. Haven't seen it myself, but I hope to have some expert analysis from the movie guru himself once he's indulged in a night out at the theater (which I'll be passing along to all of you). Just as the French are the world's foremost authority orderly and trouble-free surrender, think of the Word Slinger as the man to talk to on all things movie related. So we'll look forward to that...

• Speaking of Star Wars, test your wits against Darth Vader...if you're feeling up to the challenge, that is (and you have nothing better to do).

• Today's bit of absurdity (there's so much absurdity out there, it's hard to narrow it down): the latest call for ever-more pampering by the British nanny state is knife control. Yep, it seems some British doctors are calling for a ban on certain types of kitchen knives due to their role in domestic assaults. When you stop laughing, consider how eerily similar the arguments they're making are to the arguments gun control advocates make. For instance:

The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all. They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen. None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed.

Just substitute that all-encompassing term "assault rifle" and add "hunting" instead of "in the kitchen" and you've got yourself a ready-made argument for Congressional gun control legislation. I never totally bought into the slippery-slope anti-gun control argument, if only because I thought the possibility that the government would come for our knives and baseball bats so unfathomable. Shame on me.

• Some Middle East absurdity for you to enjoy: a glimpse into the twisted world of how to brainwash a Palestinian child. Those upright "businessmen" over there at Hamas have an online children's magazine that teaches the finer points of growing up to be a suicide bomber. There you can view, among other things, photographs of the severed head of a female suicide bomber ("severed from her pure body [while] her headscarf remained to decorate [her face]"), and the last will of another "martyr", all complete with child-friendly cartoon illustrations. Sick stuff.

• Speaking of the good old Middle East, I never realized the queen of Jordan was so damn hot. Seems being a Middle Eastern autocrat has its advantages after all. Daaaaaamn.

• I may not be the most qualified person to comment on this seeing as I haven't lived in the United States for a while now, but I'm going to anyway. I've read some ballyhoo about a decline in movie attendance as of late. Accompanying it seems to be the usual analysis that maybe this represents some broad cultural shift, maybe it represents Hollywood losing touch, blah blah blah. Here's a thought: maybe the movies Hollywood's been pumping out lately suck! Like I said, just a thought.

• In the mood to kill some time. Enjoy this doosy of a flash game. Quite entertaining.

That's all for now. Until next time.