Given the wealth of stupidity to emerge from the world of NHL hockey recently, to brand this story as the dumbest bit of hockey news of the past few months is really saying something.

State Assemblyman Craig Stanley is taking issue with a satanic symbol representing the [New Jersey Devils], which has won three Stanley Cup championships...

"I've always cringed when people say they're going to see the Devils," Stanley said. "The merchandise, the paraphernalia is based on the actual demonic devil. Personally, it causes a little bit of an issue with me."

Umm, let me try to put this diplomatically: tough shit, Craig. This just about as gay as the renaming of the Washington Bullets in 1997.

Then again, maybe I just need to be a little more sensitive. I mean, if a professional sports franchise's name offends the delicate sensibilities of a state assemblyman (assemblyman...so reflective if the sexism inherent in our male-dominated rape culture, don't you think?), then we really should pull out all the stops to make sure that we find a more friendly name, one that everyone can enjoy without emotional distress. So I propose the following name changes:

Phoenix Suns to Phoenix Butterflies - Not only is the sun the cause of skin cancer worldwide, but this name change will also improve butterfly awareness. They have rights, too.

Colorado Avalanche to Rocky Mountain Snowflakes - Avalanches are responsible for dozens of deaths each year, making this moniker extremely insensitive to victims of such disasters. Moreover, the use of "Colorado" is awfully exclusionary, as this really should be a team for the entire Rocky Mountain region to root for. And what better symbol to cheer for than the wonderfully unique snowflake?

Oakland Raiders to Oakland Humanitarian Aid Workers - The whole Raiders logo and concept promotes pirate-like behavior. While we should be inclusive of the "alternative consumer lifestyle" of pirates, I think it even better to hold up the example of the international humanitarian relief worker as something to aspire to.

Oakland Athletics to the Oakland Best Efforts - I'm not picking on Oakland here, just trying to help out. It occurs to me that it's not a good message for our children to suggest that only "athletic" people have a place on the Oakland baseball roster. This sort of arbitrary discrimination based on athletic ability is dangerous to the self esteem of kids today. After all, what's really important is to try hard and make sure no one's feelings get hurt.

Those are just some ideas off the top of my head. There are many other cases of lingering insensitivity and discrimination out there waiting to be changed for the better, so if you have any suggestions, please, let your state assemblyperson know.